Focus.

I have an incredibly difficult time focusing.
For example, I checked Facebook twice before I actually finished typing that sentence. Last night it took me almost two hours to write an email that should have taken 15 minutes solely because I would open a new tab, check other sites, or watch the movie Kaity was watching in the same room as me. I blame my inability to focus for my infrequent updates on this blog.

Honestly, Romania should scare me. It should horrify me and make me more nervous than anything else. But it doesn't. I, the girl who can't clean a kitchen or get sand under her finger nails without feeling incredibly uncomfortable and squeamish, am incredibly okay with the idea of how incredibly gross we're going to get on this trip and all the work that is involved. What part of this process horrifies me? The fund raising.
As a child I was painfully shy, and sometimes this still plagues me. I've come out of my shell a lot as I have gotten older and more mature, but I still struggle with moments of this shyness. Public speaking has never been my gift and I find myself struggling with what to say and correct ways to form sentences. Combine this with my inability to ask for help, and fund raising does not a happy Sarah make. Right now I have over half the money I need for Romania, but to pull the rest in requires both an abundance of prayer and another fund raiser. My parents Sunday School class wanted to do a fund raiser for my trip, so while I was out yesterday earning blisters while ice skating with some friends, my parents were having lunch with two couples from their class to discuss what type of fund raiser should happen. Instead, they decided that it would be more beneficial for me to speak to their class and another class in the church about my trip and the work we'll be doing so that people will be willing to donate money.
Upon hearing this, I did a panicked rocking back in forth motion on the floor while my brother checked his Facebook and my friend played guitar. Bre didn't miss a beat, grabbed my dad's Bible off the desk, and immediately flipped to Psalms. She handed me the Bible and immediately said, "Read it. Now. Two and three," and jabbed her finger at a page.

"Prove me, O Lord, and try me; test my heart and my mind. For your steadfast love is before my eyes, and I walk in your faithfulness," Psalm 26:2-3

The whole preparation for this trip is indeed a test. It's becoming more and more evident as time goes on. I know that God is incredibly good and faithful and I can survive any test he sees me fit to go through, but this is really stretching out of my comfort zone. With lots of prayer (and Bre around to through Scripture at me), I know I can make it through this. It's only speaking in front of people who would probably want to help.

Days until Romania: 86.
Funds raised so far: $2,838 out of $4,350